So Many Firsts, So Little Amount of Time

Some people make resolutions to try something new every day. I say good for them! It’s a great idea and all, it’s just not for me. Coming up with something new every day? Sounds fairly daunting if you ask me.

Except for today. Today, I had several firsts! And the span of time it took to do all of them was relatively small. The Try Something New mentality seemed like it could actually work today.

1. For the first time ever, I spilled a crock pot full of homemade chili in my van. (I was driving down the street with said crock pot on the floor in the back of my van. When I turned a corner, BAM! The pot tipped, and chili crashed against the door. I pulled over to see what I could do about it, and found that there was chili EVERYWHERE. Even in the track for the door.)

2. For the first time ever, I went to the car wash while sleet was falling from the sky, after spilling a crock pot full of chili in my van.

3. For the first time ever, I used the wash-your-car-yourself-sprayer to spray out the INSIDE of my car, while sleet was falling from the sky, after spilling a crock pot full of chili in my van.


4. For the first time ever, I wore a bat costume to the carwash, where I used the wash-your-car-yourself-sprayer to spray out the INSIDE of my car, while sleet was falling from the sky, after spilling a crock pot full of chili in my van.


It was all good times.

My kids and I decided that feeding the sewer dwellers a pot of seriously rockin' chili was a very appropriately Halloween thing to do. We left the car wash feeling great about our service to a group of creatures that probably don't get services done for them any more often than they see sunlight or smell freshly baked bread.

Maybe we'll make it a Halloween tradition.

Dress Up Difficulty

This is the first year since I was 18 and working at a fast food restaurant that I have been REQUIRED to dress up for Halloween.

I’m not a big fan of being REQUIRED, especially when it’s something that I stink at. I’ve narrowed it down to three choices, though. Maybe you can help me.

1– A BAT. Classic Halloween, here. It’s a fairly easy costume to make— simple black shirt with wings sewn into the arms seams and down the side seams. Black headband with ears. Black pants.

Added bonus: When I am running down the hill at recess to stop a fight or to help a hurt kid, I can feel like I am flying! And who wouldn’t want to fly?

2– AN 80s GIRL. ‘Cause I once was. Big hair looking perm-ish, bright lipstick, big earrings, pegged pants, slouch socks, waist belt.

Added bonus: The bin full of earrings I kept can actually be of some use. Plus, who doesn’t love the occasional flashback to big hair?

3– A ZOMBIE. Torn, raggedy clothing that I would have to somehow make look dirty without actually being dirty.

Added bonus: When I wake up in the morning, my hair looks pretty zombie-ish. So, one less thing to do. Plus, Zombies are HOT! I’m talking smokin’. Mark my words: Vampires = out, Zombies = in. Let me explain. Both crave something from humans that humans kinda need to live. Vampires need blood, Zombies need brains. That’s bad, and of course, makes us not love either.

...EXCEPT for the good vampires, of course. The good vampires we tend to love. Some of us may love Edward... or maybe someone from that show Vampire Diaries... or Angel.... or Spike more than them all... The point is, we hear stories of good vampires, and we love them.

What we DON’T hear is stories of good Zombies. But I’m convinced they’re out there (the good Zombies, not the stories of good Zombies). So, I could be a GOOD Zombie. One who really struggles against my inner bad self, and somehow finds a diet that doesn’t include human brains. Then I find a way to live amongst humans without caving to my desire for brains and endangering the lives of those around me. I swear I’d bathe every day and I’d find a perfume that would mask the rotting flesh smell.

Plus, who doesn’t love people who walk with their arms outstretched and a leg dragging behind them? Like I said, hot.

So, help me out? Please? There’s a handy poll on the side bar toward the top where you can vote for one of the three, OR if you’re more creative than I and have another idea, please leave it in the comments.

Ooo. And for fun, if you’re dressing up, tell me what you’re being in the comments! I’d love to hear.

Widowed Shrub & a Bonus Widow

I usually wait until all my plants truly die before I rip them out. This year, though, I actually remembered how, in EVERY year past, I have hated finding a non-rainy, non-freezing cold day to rip them out after they died.

So, I bit back tears, and pulled out perfectly good, beautiful plants, leaving a lonely, widowed shrub. Painful.

It could've been more painful, though....


I have to say, and I supremely grateful that when I was pulling out the plants, I didn't know this little gal was hanging out with me:

(What's that I see in the corner? Why, could it possibly be....)


That's right! A huge vial of potent, damaging poison walking around on eight legs! Walking around in MY flower bed.

Yeeaaarrrggghhh. Shudder, shudder.


Luckily, she wasn't so aggressive, since she was feeling the effects of the invisible anti-spider force field surrounding our house. Kinda weakens them. She doesn't feel weak anymore, though. Mostly because she's kinda dead. The funeral was nice. There weren't any flowers, but the eulogy rocked. Literally.

And, since I did the unthinkable and posted an actual picture of a spider on my blog, I think I'm required to write another blog post soon, or I'll have to quit visiting my blog to see if y'all have updated yours. I promise, it won't happen again. My blog will be a safe place to visit soon. Just like my house is.

Jealous?

Don't be. Just come borrow them from me. :)

Are ALL junior high teachers like this?

I went to my first junior high parent teacher conference last week. Now, since I don't have any previous experience to compare this to, I'm wondering if my experience is normal or a fluke.

Kyle has 5 girl teachers (of which, 4 were at PT Conf.) and 3 boy teachers.


When I went to each of his girl teachers, the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi. My son is Kyle.
Girl Teacher: Oh, yes. Kyle! He's in my _____ class, right?
Kyle is a ____ to have in class.
He is always so ____ with the other students.
The amount he pays attention and listens and actively participates in discussions is ____ much.
I can tell that he is putting forth ____ much effort.
He seems to pick up on concepts at this speed.
I really ____ my job because of him.

They dish on all of the things that DON'T show up on a progress report.


On the flip side, this is what happened when I went to the male teachers:

Me: "Hi. My son is Kyle."
Male Teacher: "What period?"
[I answer, they look through the stack, find his progress report, and slide it across the table to me.]
"Here are his grades. Any questions?"
Me: "Um.... No?"
Male Teacher: [Silence for about a full second, then they give a very pointed look. One that clearly says "Then why are you still sitting there? Leave. Now. Your thirty seconds are up. If I blink again and you're still sitting there, I may have to give your kid detention."]
Me: [Quickly gather papers, and think of saying "Sorry for taking your time," before I leave. Except I don't because I'm not actually sorry, I just feel awkward.]


I remember Junior High very well. I remember thinking that it takes a very special kind of teacher to handle the beasts that are junior high aged students.

So, to those of you who have had more experience with junior high aged kids.... Normal or fluke? I really am fine with either answer. If the "specialness" (and I am saying that in a very non-derogatory way) required to be a male junior high teacher comes hand in hand with an un-people oriented personality, I can accept that.

Another Clue

I was reading friend Judy's Blog, and saw she got a clue left on her doorstep.

I, too, got a clue left on my doorstep. Maybe they're both pieces to a bigger puzzle. :) Maybe you got one too, or maybe you can help me figure out the bigger puzzle.


So, to my clue ditching person:

1. I did NOT know that. I quite enjoy random bits of information, so thanks for making my night!
2. I have often wondered, though, how many pounds of hair I'll lose in a lifetime. I swear, I'm losing it faster than I'm growing it. How else would you explain the 40 pounds of hair that is in my house RIGHT NOW?
3. Oh, my gosh! My note was left by an actual celebrity! I am fanning myself with my hand right now. Chuck Norris!

And now I'm wondering if my Chuck Norris Skin Losing note has something to do with the Cheese note. Does Chuck maybe like people who like cheese? Or are they totally unrelated?

Coincidence? I don't think so.

Are there more pieces to the puzzle that I am yet to hear about?

PSA **For Girls Only**

I'm pretty sure I'll never post my weight on my blog-- even though you can look at me and probably guess. However, in the interest of a Public Service Announcement, I'm going to go out on a limb and post something equally personal. You know... because I'm all about looking out for you.

I went bra shopping.

As I was looking through the rack of bras that were my size, I kept coming across ones that had an "NB" in the spot where the size should be.

What could that size mean? I wondered. I looked all over the tag, and couldn't find any clues as to what the "NB" meant, so I was left to my own devices to figure it out. Two possibilities came to mind:

Newbie
and
No Boobs

Now, seeing that the bras in question had a cup size that was clearly TOO BIG for me, I was left feeling a bit.... inadequate. And slightly insulted.

After searching several more tags, I (finally!) discovered the secret to the mystery sizing conventions. "NB" actually stands for "Nearly size B." (Although, I think it would have been much better if they had chosen "Almost size B." Not only would the size AB be self explanatory, but it would have alleviated the disquiet felt by untold scores of girls in my same situation.)

So, to all my less-than-well-endowed friends, if you are bra shopping and you come across an NB that is too big, there is no need to feel as though the bra makers are giving you a little cleavage-size jab. They're actually being nice and offering more sizes.

I just thought you should know that.