Fair Faxi
One lovely spring day in 1996 ~ April 16, 2011
Our beloved Fair Faxi gave up the ghost this past weekend. Fair Faxi was born in a factory possibly very far away, but was soon lovingly adopted into the home of Lance and Peggy. From birth, Fair Faxi was a very enthusiastic eater. She sucked down everything she was fed, and never turned away second helpings. Since children joined the household not too many months after she was adopted, she always had the option of eating to her belly's content.
Even with her constant eating, Fair Faxi never grew any taller, but she was healthy. The old girl lived a good, long life. Only 15 years in human years, but she was over 107 years old in vacuum years. Near the end of her life, Fair Faxi succumbed to an unhealthy electrical circuitry-baring malady that eventually persuaded her to dabble in deadly pyrotechnics. Her family would like to think that she went out with a bang. Funeral services were held Saturday afternoon, on a spring day as beautiful as the one she entered this life in.
Despite how she left this existence, she will always be remembered for her jungle cat-like purr, her eagerness to play with everyone, and her lack of complaining about living in a small, dark room.
Sadly, the family's help has been struck by a nightmare. Or a plague. Or a nightmare about a plague. Because of this, Fair Faxi is preceded in death a mere two weeks by the family lawnmower, Crafts Man (who, ironically, didn't have any interest in crafts), by the family water heater, Ken More (who developed acute rustation), the family dishwasher, May Tag (who died of old age), and the family microwave, Pan Asonic (who passed away from injuries sustained in an unfortunate fall).
She was post-ceded in death two days by Lance's car, Saturna (who ran until she could run no more). Saturna's funeral services will be held today at 1:15 pm.
In this grave time, the family is comforted by the fact that there are very few other moving-parts-adoptees in or around the house left to go to their grave. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in a plain white envelope on the front porch.*
*The family in NO way endorses the use of plain white envelopes, front porches, or donations.
7 comments:
I can't stop laughing. Not at all of your losses, but your way with words. I am so sorry for your loss. We recently lost our BBQ and Lawn mower. It can be exciting to welcome new items into ones home, but so many losses at once can be costly. Ouch.
Hahaha! Peggy! I am still laughing too! That's a lot of losses. I heard they come in 3's, but I guess in your case they come in dozens. Good thing money grows on trees. Right?
So funny, Peggy! I've never been so amused by such a manage of malfunctioning maladies! And I wish you much luck in replacing Fair Faxi--they just don't make 'em like they used to! (literally.....)
Peggy--this was the best obit I've read in a l-o-n-g time! I am sorry for the quantity of losses you've withstood recently, but love the explaination of them all. Good luck and good-sales in replacing them. :) THanks for the chuckle this morning as I listen to my washing machine on it's last legs here...I hope it can't hear my thoughts and give in to the same kind of ends. Yet.
Your such a dork!! but funny but now they make cool looking vacuums!!
JoMamma-- Congratulations on your recent adoptions! I hope you didn't decide to bury the BBQ in the garden. Cuz that big of hole takes WAY too long to dig.
Kris-- No kidding! It's a good thing we had the foresight years ago to plant one in the backyard so it would be at full maturity now. Whew! ;)
Tammy-- I know! I think that vacuums are now triggered to die when they are 35 vacuum years old. :(
Shauna-- Here's hoping that there are many long years left for you to spend with your washer and dryer.
Janet-- WHAT? Are you saying that Fair Faxi wasn't cool looking? Come on! She was the bomb.com!
LOL. I'm also so sorry for your loses. WOW I can't believe all of that died in such a short amount of time. I thought she was very foxy!!! Lady fax that is.
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